Buddy Ebsen Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

by Pasadena Adjacent

“The Duke”

ocean adjacent dining

aboard the yaht

When you grow up  below the drive [Huntington]on the wrong end of town, (in the land of ADD, midgets, continuation school and other advanced forms of mental retardation) it helps to have a friend or two above the drive. The farther above the drive, the better. Friends whose parents met at USC; he a doctor/lawyer, she an art history major. These were the friends of second homes. Knowing Susan Fletcher of Fletcher Medical Lab on Fairoaks, got you a weekend at Balboa Island. Charlotte Colombe of Trader Joes got you spring vacation up at Mammoth, and if Michael Chandler had been born a Michele, who knows? Casablanca and beyond.

My chubby stature combined with a ritalin prescription, poor cordination and low IQ, guarenteed me a seat outside the gates of Breckdom. But I was to create unlikly alliances with the uber smart girls. Sure, they got to be members of the “Bluebird” reading group, while I was shuffled off to special-ed with my fellow “Crows.” But we did share the social humiliation of being physically spaztic coupled with an unfashionable inability to color coordinate.  My insider ticket to the outside world came in the form of  imaginative problem solving skills. Such as how to create a cherry bomb or turn ones parent’s patio furniture into a roller coaster. Achievable with a little duct tape, a skate board, scrap lumber and employing “said” friends  pets as test pilots. Parents may have disliked me, but I was the alternative to their progenies abject loneliness… so I got invited on trips.

and trips become yearly traditions. After a morning of torture walking the warehouses of Tile Row in Anheim, Mr V and I made our yearly sojourn to New Port Beach. We parked and walked the peninsula. As suspicous Beat Nick types, we were confronted by a local Balboan and asked if we lived there. Don’t answer, stare, it confuses them.

Balboa Susan and Mammoth Charlotte are medical doctors, Casablanca Michael, a race car driver. But Mr V and I “will always have pizza.”

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