Never Thought my Heart Could be so Yearny

by Pasadena Adjacent

“The Greek word for “return” is nostos. Algos means “suffering.” So nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return.”
― Milan Kundera, Ignorance

first hand narrative / insightful/ squeamish quotient minimal

“Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.” When a person gets old, really old, onset dementia old, they often quit receiving. Instead they switch into broadcast mode. I know this because when I was young, I was a willing audience to these long lifers; to their nostalgia. I also know, if by nature, your lighthearted, your memories will be proof of it. People will like you. If your not, memories will take on water.  Your peers may not like you – but old people will. Because they won’t care about your nature. Because they’re not listening. Because they’re glad for the company……I wonder about how to be old

“Are you still sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin again.” My nostros tends towards algos. Domminant memories are often NOT a joy to return to, but unlike the chipper among you, return I do. To a time  that smelled of sweat; branded in bittersweet loss. Those lazy summers spent at the stables, in adoration of  the days racing greats. And then the kind of heartbreak that cause the young to suffer so. Ruffian.

“When nothing else subsists from the past, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered…the smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like souls…bearing resiliently, on tiny and almost impalpable drops of their essence, the immense edifice of memory”
― Marcel Proust

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