The Curtain Closes on my Wee Sidekick
by Pasadena Adjacent
“You can survive any loss,” the old man whispered, “if you delight in whatever is left to you.”
near the start
near the finish
That Cats Killing Me (for a while now) and a week ago Friday, I got to return the favor. But lets not be morbid. Lets skip the Rainbow Bridge which despite its ridiculous sentimentality, always results in bringing up snot. Instead, we here at Pasadena Adjacent choose to pay tribute to our favorite pint-sized star Tova-Rose; kitty queen of the multiple postings.
recap
Our wayward Tova made her first appearance on this blog, (in three acts). After having gone Kerouac on us; we “conceptually” celebrated the anniversary of Tova’s return from 10 days on the road (one year later, in real-time). Ten days anxiously spent in the adjacents running from shelter to shelter, knocking on doors, posting bills and walking the streets at night shaking a box of kitty kibble in a state of utter despair.
Then there was the time when Tova had a complete physical breakdown; (in two episodes). That was costly. More so when the treatment failed to quell the symptoms. So we nuked her, (in two acts) and generously shared the image of her thyroid tumor with you.
Then one of our personal favorites. Under less duress, Tova graciously agreed to play the part of the hapless heroine in the Trash Tuesday #62, remake of King Kong. Our “wee thespian for the ages” adhered faithfully to the following script
“Witness the mightiest of all creatures pitted against his rival in a colossal struggle of monster verses small domestic feline”
We know what your thinking, brilliant! brava Tova! kudos to you for upstaging that big ass monkey!
Small Domestic Feline, originally uploaded by Access Palm 2009.
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sweet dreams, you miserable little cretin, you wear my heart
Pasadena Adjacent 
*******
11/27/96 – 04/08/11
14 years 4 months
Tova was “off” last week so I took her into the vet Thursday for blood work. When the vet picked her up, she felt a mass. I took Tova home for one last night together, then had her lights turned off Friday morning. You know the day you take them in that this day awaits you. Sooner or later.
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Personally, I find these things devastating. When my dog Ivy died, I was a total mess. These pets really wind their ways into our very hearts. Sigh. Sorry.
Our Editor responds: It’s true. But interestingly, because of the suddeness of it all, I don’t have memories of a slow sad descent. Tova died pretty and with the lights on
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I’m so sorry, L. It’s always so hard.
Our Editor responds: yes, and the idea of starting again is also hard. I have a photo of Tova, where I’m holding her after I’ve brought her home (and maybe it’s my projection) but I can read the trepidation in my mind and body of starting anew after having said good by to “Tess”
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Thank you for being so strong and sharing this.
Our Editor responds: I had help.
Last Thursday night, I purchased a daffodil “bunch” so that when I woke up the next morning on the one week anniversary of Tova’s death, I’d do so to a bunch of yellow cheer
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So sorry for your loss! I know it’s not cool to say, but our cats are our kids.
Our Editor responds: thank you. she was a cool cat
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Oh Tova, you were a bright star.
Our Editor responds: fun, flirty, yappy and forever young
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So difficult to make that last trip. Hope you’re doing OK. I had my two dogs creamated when they died 7 years ago, just 4 months apart. I still haven’t dealt with the ashes. Bye Tova.
Our Editor responds: I had a recent premonition that Tova wasn’t going to be a long lived cat. I’m ok. I buried Tova in my garden, in a near straight line out from my back door. Her body is curled in a ball with her head facing towards the door which I’ve always kept open for her to come and go as she pleased. It’s rather peaceful. Next to these beautiful blue/purple beaded iris whose color reminds me of a Siamese cat eye.
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Sorry you lost your cat, PA. But it sounds like your cat wasn’t yet on her 9th life.
Our Editor responds: Thank you. It’s true, I would have liked more time. I was very fond of my kitty girl
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Tova had a very happy life with you and is now in cat mheaven, where all the plants are catnip and all the food is Fancy Feast chicken mousse with a soupcon of caviar. I know what it feels like to lose a beloved cat or two. Keep posting your memories of her so we can share them with you.
Our Editor responds: Did you go through the links? I was actually tearing up in hysterics. That cat’s put me through the wringer. I’m afraid if I should cross the rainbow bridge, the first thing I’m going to do is yell at her. Tova prefers Gerber Baby Food; any denomination.
I’ll put some pics on FB. I think I can put a link to the album here.
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Oh, PA. How new I am to your world. I hadn’t known your dear Tova. Now I’ve traveled through her many lives. What a big spirit. She purred under that monkey’s hand! What a journey you two shared.
Today’s Freekibblekat question is about Siamese kittens, in honor of Tova no doubt: http://www.freekibblekat.com/
Did you have Tova as a kitten?
Our Editor responds: Isn’t she a sprite? I’ve dragged my regulars many times through the pitfalls and perils of Tovadom. This last episode kind of sucker punched me. I’ll have a couple more pictures of Tova on FB.
btw: I can answer that question (near white or cream). The blue eyes and points on a siamese are a sophisticated process of selection based on the Albinism gene they carry. The upper photo is of Tova around the age of 4 months. I chose her because of her big feet and huge ears.
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So very sorry PA. RIP Tova. So hard at the end but I know I wouldn’t have traded the short time I had with my cat for anything. Tova had a lot of life in her.
Our Editor responds: Yup, the girl had spunk. Funny thing, I tend to measure my life by the the pets I’ve kept. Tova represents the end of youth and the beginning of middle age. On the weekend I purchased her, I also bought my first computer and my first home. The time was shorter then I would have liked, I made the right decision and I’ve always known this day would come. And I’ll do it again. Have you adopted a new cat?
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We said goodbye to Miss Digit last fall after her very long and difficult illness. We spent the morning with her and then took her in, the last appointment of the day so there was no rush. She was my son’s cat and just the other day he remarked what a rough day that was. That’s really something from a 24 year geek. I’m sure Tova resonated in your lives in a thousand ways, large and small. So very much to lose in such a small package. Sweet sweet, Tovah, adieu.
Our Editor responds: It’s a hard call. I went through a prolonged illness with my last cat (including buying a few extra weeks). I found the “long good-by” a far harder choice. Adieu to Tova.
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I am so very sorry.
You have written beautifully about the gift that Tova has been. I do know how very hard it is.
Our Editor responds: I found this quote which I rather like “The people we have lost are not gone. They dance on the edges of our thoughts—winking, tossing memories at our feet.” Unfortunately my Tova wasn’t as tough as Bukowski’s cat but she was pretty.
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Your writing is brave. I didn’t read so bravely; in fact I put off reading and kept stopping once I started. We know when we take them in, like you said, but thinking about that day breaks my heart in advance, and it’s breaking for you now.
Our Editor responds: Thank you. I thought I kept it kind of light. My experience is that nobody wants to be around you when your grieving. It’s a process you go it alone with. Probably why other cultures shake their heads at the way we deal with death….by the same token, they also find it odd how much we love our pets. (I’ll spare all, the use of the term “fur-baby”). I’m hurting, true, but one foot in front of the other.
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I’ve been through it with four dogs and three cats, and it never became routine. Sorry you’re having to go through this. I do agree, there’s no point in dragging it out once you know deep down what time it is. Wishing you a speedy recovery . . .
Our Editor responds: Finding out “the time” kind of threw me, yeah, but the clean break has kept the guilt down to a minimum. Guilt: thats what bogs down your recovery.
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You’ve got me bawling. Waaaaaaaaaaa.
To have followed Tova’s exploits, is to have loved her.
Hope she comes back for her next life with the same baby blues.
Our Editor responds: The perfect comment “To have followed Tova’s exploits, is to have loved her” that made me cry.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Our Editor responds: Thank-you Jean. Today feels like it’s starting off as a blue day. Hope I can shake it.
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Oh oh oh. I’m crying.
Our Editor responds: yesterday was a bad kind of “blue” day
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Lovely post about a lovely cat soul. How fortunate you both were to have each other. She was born to be an artist’s muse, and still is doing her job in this blog–
Our Editor responds: She had a light touch. Sad, washing, removing, storing all the of her things. So much I miss without my studio mate. I’m sooo ready to run away on our girls trip. Ironically back to the place where this down hill slide seemed to have started.
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Oh oh oh,
My heart goes out to you
sympathies
xoxoxo
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I am so sorry to hear about Tova’s passing. She was a beautiful, beautiful cat. I had a Siamese female cat when I was growing up and she also was a Seal Point.
That’s amazing she was gone so long and you were reunited with her!
Sounds like she had a long, happy, healthy life with you. Still. I know you miss her a lot.
My sympathy to you.
Oh, and I loved the story about the white cross-eyed cat belonging to the author.
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ah, that’s sad. I’m so sorry to hear about Tova. Keep your chin up.
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Beautiful post that I have read and re-read. I am sorry for Tova’s passing. The old man’s whispering is little solace but still wise.
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My FB album “Past Tense” Including the ghosts of kitties past
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/fbx/?set=a.1741616584363.97233.1357167932
and another Tova Wee Video Production that went terribly wrong
http://pasadenaadjacent.com/2009/07/29/another-masters-at-work-wee-video-production/
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Here’s to your peaceful, happy memories of Tovah. You have my sympathetic tears, and love.
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